It took me a long time to realize that I have never wanted children. Kids were never part of my life plan in a conscious way — they only factored in as an abstract thing that you do when you’re an adult. And that’s no reason to have children.
When my husband James and I first got together, we did talk about our plans for children. I was only twenty at the time, so for me, it was always a matter of “maybe later.” We talked about the cute things, like names (Korben and Alice), and serious things like discipline…
The genesis of this article came to me a little while ago as I was tapping away on my emails at my day job, humming a little to myself and bobbing from side to side in time with the music that was mostly in my head.
It made me so happy, and it hit me with a rush that I love to sing, and I get a bit sad when I’m in a place (i.e. the office) where I can’t just, you know, sing.
To be honest I’m a pretty bad singer and I know enough about music (I played…
So my mental health went pretty strongly downhill from 2015 to 2020. While that period of time also included some moments of great happiness, including getting married to my long-term partner, when viewed as a whole my general momentum in terms of mental health was a slope downwards with some upwards spikes. Like those graphs of personal growth that try to show you that even when you’re feeling down, you’re still so far ahead of where you started…except in reverse.
In 2020 I hit a point where I had no choice but to firmly make mental health (depression and anxiety)…
I’ve written before that I don’t have a niche. I write what I feel like, when I feel like. However, the more I write the more I realise that it’s not so much that I don’t want to have a niche but more not wanting to define it upfront. Instead I wanted my niche to define itself.
This really hit home recently as I was putting together my website. I wanted to share a few of my articles on there, and narrowing that choice down a small handful was enlightening.
So if, like me, you struggle to define yourself as…
It’s a fact, plain and simple, that to improve you have to practise. No amount of learning or theorising can take the place of actually doing The Thing, whatever that thing might me.
However, there are different formats of “doing” that can help build the metaphorical muscles of The Thing — not all practise is equal.
As practise is unequal, so are our skills, so it can be worthwhile to focus your attention on practising particular parts of The Thing rather than just doing all of it all the time. If you’re learning to draw you might find you need…
I was suddenly struck with the urge, when I was sitting at my day job and daydreaming while doing a very repetitive task, to see what would happen if I published to Medium every day for a month.
But we’re already four days into the month, I bemoaned internally, knowing that if I left it until next month I’d probably wuss out.
It’s my challenge, so it can start and end whenever, I reminded myself. I don’t like starting things at “odd” times but really, time is an illusion so what does it matter?
So here we are. It’s May…
I can think of only two bands that have equal-or-fewer men: The Corrs (three sisters and their brother) and Skillet (two men, two woman, male primary vocalist). The Dresden Dolls kind of count, as a male/female duo, but Amanda Palmer was definitely fulfilling more of the "lead singer" role you discuss, though in a very unconventional way.
I've become wise to the diversity (or lack thereof) present in films/TV that you mention - the fact that having one or two women in an ensemble cast is enough. I'd never noticed it being present in music, but now I don't think I'll be able to stop.
On my little walk from the station to my day job, there is moss growing between the pavers near the gutter. Lately, due to exceptionally heavy rainfall, it has grown greener than ever, pushing up between onto the bricks like plush emerald pillows.
The first time I walked by after the rains had ended I was awestruck. I had to stop and admire it, the way it crept along the ground and brought a soft natural chaos to the city street. I longed — with a surprising visceral intensity — to touch it.
I was wearing a relatively…
I’ve written about this before, but I have a short attention span. It took me a while to figure out how best to be productive despite this, but as I improve my processes I’ve realised that I’m not able to be productive despite this, I’m productive to the level I am because of it.
Splitting your focus between multiple projects not only allows you to keep yourself from getting bored but it makes each project better.
Writing articles on Medium improves my fiction writing — when I close the browser I’m writing this in and open up my novel I…
There’s nothing like a commuter train to make you realise how dull the masses of humanity are. If you squint a little at the crowd (or look over the top of your glasses if you’ve got bad eyes like me) you’ll notice it. Things like a heliotrope tie or scarlet scarf, that are so vibrant and noticeable when you’re face to face with the wearer, fade into the grey.
I’m a nerd from NSW, Australia. I write, read, game, cosplay, wear weird and wonderful clothes, and write about whatever I feel like.